I’m not married, by the way, or engaged. Me and my soul mate are trying to find each other. Hope we meet soon. Amen
Today I’m talking about marriage even though I’m not married and I know I said this already but….future hubby: where art thou? Hold on! I’m not THAT desperate. It’s the pressure, the stress, the tension…it’s REAL. In my religion (Islam), society, culture,… marriage is very important and I’m not getting younger as the days are passing, so…and I want my parents to be relieved from their responsibility.
Engagement is not necessarily the exchange of rings and mind you the girl and the guy doesn’t put the rings on the other person’s hand because they are not married and can’t touch the other person. It’s mostly the mothers or the females who put the ring or give any other gift. Simply a YES before the marriage is also a form of engagement.
What I know about marriages is there are two kinds, arranged marriages and love marriages. My parent’s marriage was an arranged one and my uncle went against all odds to marry the woman he loved. One of my brothers married to a girl my parents liked and the other brother went ahead with his own choice.
Ups and Downs are a part of life and every relationship. The relation between a man and a woman (couple) is different as it can affect the families. You can’t say that if the marriage is the “love” one it’ll last longer than the “arranged” one or the “arranged” ones have more chance to be successful in life.
Islam doesn’t force a girl to get married to a man she doesn’t like. YES, IT’S TRUE. I have read lots of nonsense regarding my religion from those who doesn’t even bother to read or educate themselves about the topic they’ll talk about. Islam gives the permission to love, accept or reject the other person. Whom am I to blame when most Muslims don’t even follow this basic step and force the girls because they are their “wali” (guardian).
Wali is very important in a girl’s marriage. A girl can’t get married without a wali. Wali can be her father, brother, uncle, or a “mahram” (a girl can’t marry her mahram) and absolutely male, female can’t be a wali. Without wali, the marriage is “batil” (invalid). Our dramas easily portray this topic. A girl elopes with her sweetheart and gets married without a wali. And I haven’t seen anyone in the drama standing up and saying it’s wrong. The drama makers do get a complaint but they pay no heed. Shame indeed.
On more important thing before I close my topic. Islam says that the children should get married when they hit puberty. The body has its needs that need to be fulfilled and if that unwed child commits a “sin” the blame will fall on the parents.
May Allah grant us “hidayat” (knowledge/wisdom) and “sabr” (patience) and may HE help us walk on “sirat-al-mustaqim” (righteous path). Amen.